Quotes

1. "Mary is trying hard in school this semester," her father said.

2. Early in the show, Steven Wright asked, "How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

3. Did Steven Wright say, "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you"?

4. "No," the taxi driver said, "I cannot get you to the airport in 15 minutes."

5. Gov. Peterson said she will support a tax increase this session.

"Without it, schools will close," she son said .

6. "My favorite line is when Jerry Seinfeld said, 'My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law,'" Smitty said.

7. My French professor told me my accent is "abominable".

8. "Is Time a magazine you read regularly?" she asked.

9. When did Roosevelt say, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"?

10. "Can you believe," Dot asked me, "that it has been almost five years since we've seen each other?"